Not A Hero

Weren't you the one who told me, I was wasting, wasting my time?
I guess I should apologize for speaking, speaking my mind
But I cannot be silence
I cannot be, cannot be controlled
You might think you've got a hold on me
But you're just that easily fooled

So you can wipe that smug look off your face
Save it for another rainy day
Keep your feet on the ground for a change
You're not a hero
You think you've got me right down to a tee
Must be why you're suffocating me
Must be all the lies that everyone believes
But you're not a hero

I'm not the only one who sees right through you, through your disguise
It's time you woke up and realized, you're wasting, wasting your time
And I will not be silenced
I will not be, will not be ignored
You think you have just told on me
But they're not so easily fooled

So you can wipe that smug look off your face
Save it for another rainy day
Keep your feet on the ground for a change
You're not a hero
You think you've got me right down to a tee
Must be why you're suffocating me
Must be all the lies that nobody believes
But you're not a hero
You're not a hero

No, you're not a hero to me
You think you could make me
The villian you make me out to be
But you're just no hero
You're no hero

So you can wipe that smug look off your face
Save it for another rainy day
Keep your feet on the ground for a change
You're not a hero
You think you've got me right down to a tee
Must be why you're suffocating me
Must be all the lies that nobody believes
But you're not a hero

Waiting for something to happen...

Saw 'My Sister's Keeper' today. I loved it. Never in my life have I cried so much during a movie and laughed at the same time. It's a beautiful film, I recommend it.

So far, this summer is alright. I mean, I wanted to get a job, but for some reason, I don't see that happening, so I guess I'll work on my community service hours for school instead. I guess I'll try to make life happen, too. Last summer was a waste and I have no intentions of letting this one flop too. I've got my heart set on a David Cook concert. Let's see if that's happening. Ugh, my life is so boring and uneventful. I really need to do something about it. Let's see if I can.

On a more personal note, I'm really frustrated. I'll have one day where I'm super-confident and then three weeks of hating myself. I don't mean to sound emotional or complain or anything. It's something I'm trying to change about myself. And you know, it's not even about my looks or anything. I get to thinking that there's nothing special about myself and that people are bored with me. It hurts. I think that's why I'm so shy and it's so hard for me to make friends. I guess I'm just waiting for someone- anyone- other than my own sister and family to take an interest in me. A genuine interest. I want that BFF-feeling. I want to be more social. I want to like parties and people and going out. I'd LOVE all of that.
When will it be my turn?

Movie Recommendations?

Please let me know. :)

OTH

Mouth: Take a look at yourself in a mirror who do you see looking back?
Haley: Is it the person you want to be?
Dan: Or is there someone else you were meant to be the person you were meant to be but fell short of?
Mia: Is someone telling you you can’t or won’t? Because you can.
Chase: Believe that love is out there.
Nathan: Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Peyton: Sometimes happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family and the quiet nobility of leading a good life.
Julian: Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Brooke: Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Peyton: So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy because you deserve to be. Believe that.
Lucas: And believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.

I want...

I want to start some kind of revolution.
I want to change the world.
I want to create a name for myself.
I just want to be heard.

I need some inspiration.

You know what?
I'll just take anything.

What's a girl to do?

So much effin' work to do. A research paper, a magazine, and a freakin' career project, which includes another research paper. Fun, fun, fun. Also, finals are coming up. Ew.

To top it all off, I have no idea what I could do to earn my parents' trust. I'm responsible, I get good grades, I don't fool around with boys, and I make the right friends. What am I doing so wrong that I can't even walk to school (5 blocks away!) by myself. We live in the effin' suburbs, man! And I'm 17, not 6!

First post...

Just getting started here... Nothing to see.