MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS | I AM NOT A ROBOT

Ideas for a new blog...

I'm still keeping this one as a personal, diary sort of thing, but I'm trying to come up with ideas for a more entertaining blog.

I need ideas.

Dressed up like a boy today.

My new alter ego is Trevor Alexander.

Today has been absolutely crazy

And not in the good way. I don't know how I feel about it, but I can honestly say I would take it all back if I could.

What Bugs Me About Twilight

Told from the perspective of a former fan.


I'm not going to lie to you. About four or five years ago before the craze began, I picked up Twilight and found myself wrapped up in Edward and Bella's tortured love affair and fell for Jacob after reading New Moon. I even eagerly waited for the release of Eclipse. But by the time most of you probably even heard the name Edward Cullen, I was already over it. Why? The more people celebrated the phenomenon, the more I realized what everyone considered to be the "best parts" are what bugged me the most.

1. It's hard for me to believe Edward is straight. He's a penis-less pansy whose more sensitive than a little girl. There is no 107-year-old virgin who would pass up the opportunity to have sex with his girlfriend. I don't care if he's the most religious or self-righteous S.O.B. on the planet- that kind of resistance can drive a guy mad. (You can be a "decent" and "respectable" vampire who doesn't like to kill humans and still seem manly- see Stefan Salvatore and Angel as references).
2. Vampires shouldn't glitter. And they shouldn't look so pretty when they feed. Vampires are beasts and should, therefore, look like the monsters that they are.
3. Bella is a feminist's worst nightmare. Actually, scratch that. Taylor Swift is a feminist's worst nightmare, but Bella comes pretty close. What happened to girls kicking ass? Girls standing up for themselves? How about not being so dependent on a sparkly outcast who probably considers polishing his fangs the best way to spend his Friday nights? As I reread the series, it seemed to me like Bella just needs a guy and it's sick. It's like she doesn't have a mind of her own without a boy around. She jumps from Edward to Jacob to Mike to Jacob to Edward. Seriously, girl... There's more to life than boys. It's extremely hard for me to consider Bella an intelligent girl with such behavior.
4. With the exception of the three main characters, every other character seems underdeveloped and two-dimensional. Boring.
5. There's only so much cheesy, redundant romance I can take.
6. The last book of the series, Breaking Dawn, is probably the worst book I've ever read. It seemed like it was written in a rush and it was poorly edited. The fact that it was even published as it was is totally Little, Brown's fault. They should have sent her back that manuscript with the large red letters "N" and "O" stamped right on the front. In the words of Jacob Black himself, it was like a baaaad Gothic comedy or something along those lines.
7. Vampires don't procreate. No. Sorry. Not buying that either. Oh and by the way, why is it only the guys in the book that are still fertile? If Edward can knock someone up, why can't Rosalie pop a few out? Sexist, much?
8. I'm really starting to believe Stephenie Meyer is just a sexist woman.
9. Not only is Bella completely useless as a woman and a human being, but she gets really annoying too. 
10. It seemed like the author tried way too hard to make Bella her. It's like she's living her life vicariously through a fictional character. She should see someone for that. 
11. Everyone claims it's such an "original" storyline. Buffy touched on the topic quite a few times, and The Vampire Diaries were written way back in the '90s.
12. Most importantly... NOW THE VAMPIRE CRAZE WON'T END!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely against the Twilight franchise. I just hate seeing it all over the place. I'm grateful it became so popular. I'll admit, without it, my lastest addiction, The Vampire Diaries TV series would not exist. However, I can  say that TVD IS a quality show and unlike Twilight, makes sense. It's no Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but it's safe to say I am hooked. And I never got into True Blood, but it (probably) wouldn't have existed without the crazy franchise either, and I've heard nothing but good things about the program.

Anyway, thanks for putting up with my extremely long rant. Just thought I'd share that with you.

asdfghjkl;

JOEBROOKS<3

Work In Progress

Plot: Effie Roscoe was a beautiful model and aspiring actress, a rising star with a bright future - until she mysteriously vanishes without a trace. As suspicion shifts around those close to Effie, the struggle to find her alive presses on and results in a startling and heartbreaking conclusion.


How does that sounds? Should I write this?

I have not updated in the longest time.

Sorry about that. I’ve been so incredibly busy.

Right now, I’m thinking of starting on a new story and hopefully completing it too- I rarely ever finish anything. I just can’t seem to find a good enough plot… I guess it’ll come to me.

Anyway, if you’re interested, my FictionPress account name is theophania. Right now I’ve only got one story on there and it’s really corny, but hey, whatever. If you have a FictionPress account, let me know. I’ll check out your stuff. ;)

xoxo

OH!

And how can I forget…. LESS THEN A MONTH LEFT UNTIL I GRADUATE. I can’t wait. I’ll probably miss a few people, but other than that, I won’t miss much. Hope you’ve all had a FANTASTIC Memorial Day weekend <3

Cheer up, buttercup

You know what REALLY gets me going? People who take themselves and life way too seriously?

There is never, ever a need to be so overly sensitive about everything, especially when you're the first person making jokes and pointing fingers. Learn how to take a joke sometime and lighten up.

Some people aggravate me.

Long time, no blog

Life's been... chaotic... My mood's been so up and down lately. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's the new meds I've been taking for my allergies or what it is. All I do know is that I feel like a new person every minute. My feelings for things and people changes constantly... It's gotten to the point where I don't even care anymore. Hopefully it's just a rut I'm stuck in and I'll be able to pull myself out of.

I took the placement test for Kean this past Saturday. Just the Math part, I was exempt from having to take the English part. Besides the fact that no calculators were allowed and I have never taken pre-cal, I think I did okay, although (of course, being me) I feel really nervous about it and found it to be pretty difficult.

After the test, I had some lunch and went to the movies to see Kick-Ass. I didn't know what to expect, honestly- it's one of those movies that I just decided to give a shot. Let me just say, I'm glad I did. It was extremely hilarious and entertaining. It's safe to say it's now one of my favorite movies. Plus, Hit Girl is just about the coolest super-hero in the history of capes and tights. She's my hero. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it. I loved, loved, loved it.

My allergies have gotten so bad that they've began to take over my life... Not good. :\ But let's see what this new medication does for me.

Hope all is well with you, cyber world :)

The 411

I got my prom dress today. It's almost exactly the way I wanted it to be. The saleslady also guaranteed that no other girl at my school will have it, because she put my name on some list. This makes me happy.

When things get done, it just feels better.

Spring break has been alright. A lot less productive than I have hoped, but there's still time to get things done.

To top off this week, I'll be going to a Decade Bash tomorrow, which should be fun. Let's see how this break unravels.

I don't even want to THINK about going back to school, but the clock is ticking...

Spring Break 2010

Today was our last day of school until next Monday. Holler.

Oh, Today. Oh how I love you.

Today has been my day. It started off with a nightmare about my failure that deprived me of much-needed sleep. I woke up to rain clouds and a headache.

It went on to be somewhat average: I had to endure the annoying classes and had to finish a benchmark (or midterm- tomay-to, tomah-to) that I probably got a C on. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Then, ninth period rolls around and it's time for me to perform a comedic monologue that we were required to make up ourselves. I'm not naturally a very funny person and I'm extremely shy, so performing my own comedic material in front of a class full of kids I still barely even know was the most nerve-wracking experience I could imagine. On top of that, the character I created required a lot of passion and personality.

But guess what happened next? I got through it in one piece and even managed to get a few laughs. My grade made me more than happy. My confidence went from flat to through the roof in less than five minutes. The beauty of the day does not end there, however. Yes, it gets better...

I come home to an acceptance letter from the first college of my choice. After the dreadful aforementioned nightmare about me getting rejected from said school, this could not come at a better time.

I'm flying high right now. That was all I needed. :)

Thank you, life. You're pretty darn fantastic sometimes. I'm sorry for all of those times I've cursed at you and called you ugly names.

This is Joe Brooks. And I love him. End of story.

SPRING BREAK STARTS FRIDAYYY

I'm excited, although I know I won't get to enjoy it too much. School continues to keep me as a slave.

I perform my comedic monologue for Movement for Actors tomorrow. I'm a little nervous, but I feel confident. It's sort of like a Twilight parody- I know, I know, not very original, but hey, I'll work with it.

Have a great day <3

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

 -Harvey Fierstein

Just a little blog update...

To let y'all know life's good right now, in this moment.

I really wish I could live in the moment more often and never have to think twice about tomorrow. Life would be so sweet if you could just go with the flow, wouldn't it? I think so.

Anyway, carry on. Hope life is treating you well!

Simon Curtis - 8Bit Heart

Simon Curtis' 8Bit Heart for FREE

Check it out now. His music as a Lambert/Gaga-feel to it, but with a total uniqueness that is all its own. You may remember Simon Curtis from Nickelodeon's Spectacular. Daaaang, this guy can SING!

I just downloaded it and I'm already hooked!

Whoooo!

List of some well known Portuguese-American people.

We've got some pretty awesome people! :)

All I notice is the error in this and it BUGS me!

 Can't hardly wait. Gleeking out!

Let me tell you about my day...

It, for lack of a better word, SUCKED.

And this time change is dragging me down a little bit. Don't get me wrong, I love the extra sunlight, but I'm a night owl and the light prolongs my procrastination. Ugh.

Let me get to some great music. Maybe then I'll feel better.

Either way, I've already lost

I am writing this, even though you'll probably never see this. Perhaps it's better that way.

Anyway, I just thought you should know how much you mean to me. It's very hard to find a person you could just talk to about anything without fear of being judged; it's hard for me, at least. For someone that chooses her friends carefully, I appreciate every conversation we're able to share, every thought-provoking and LOL-filled conversation.

So if you consider me to be your friend as much as I consider you to be mine, why would you do this to me? Why would you put me in such an awkward situation? What do you really expect me to say? Maybe I'm being selfish. Or maybe we're both just being selfish. 

You have to understand that I'm going to need time. I can't seem to find the right words to say. Actually, I wish I could tell you this, but I'm not sure how you'd take it. Maybe you should've thought about how I'd take what you had to say. The last thing I want to do is make things weird or end our friendship all together. Every moment we don't speak, I feel guiltier and guiltier and you probably just think I'm purposely being a jackass. I won't blame you, my lack of confidence would lead me to believe the same thing.

I just want you to know: I'm not avoiding you. I don't want to lose touch or lose you as a friend. I don't want you to remember me ten years from now as the stuck up princess you wasted your time on. I just need time. And you have to respect that. 

Pleasepleasepleaseplease

I just want to get into Kean.

ONE nightmare and I'm stressing yet again. Why am I so afraid? I'm always telling my friends to remain confident, yet here I am. I need a friend like myself; someone to, as corny as it sounds, believe in me.

If I get accepted, that would be enough for me.

MTV needs to die

First of all.

• Laguna Beach
• The Hills
• 16 & Pregnant
• Jersey Shore

All of those shows are TERRIBLE. And that last one gives New Jersey SUCH a bad name. It's trash. Just hearing about it makes me feel like I've lost brain cells. No thanks.

And they're doing that Skins USA thing? Sorry, no. Skins is so great because of what it is. They're ruining a good thing.

So I say MTV seriously needs to go away!

Hey, Saturday!

It's so, so beautiful out. I just got back from a little Spring shopping and rescued some very old clothes from years ago that magically still fit!

So far, so good.

Even though I have the most excruciating allergies, I'm looking forward to this Spring. I'm really into this whole feminine edge look; a little artsy, a little folksy, a little elegant and romantic, but with an edgy twist. I'm glad I finally found my own personal style. And I am so glad I got out of my whole punky-emo-goth phase of my life. I can't stand to look at old pictures of me from a few years ago.

Anyway, have a beautiful weekend, loves. <3

Beyond angry

I am livid right now. I gave my guidance counselor my transcript request form for Kean University in JANUARY. Guess what? Kean never received them and I'm wait-listed until they do. How lovely is that? I think it's just PEACHY.

I swear, my school doesn't even have a guidance system. If you call THAT guidance, you're a moron.

JOE BROOKS IS COMING TO NEW JERSEY

The minute I read his tweet and Facebook status I went from "meh" to "HOLY FLIPPIN' TURTLES!" I'm so, so excited. I hope I can see him. I hope, I hope, I hope.

I've never wanted to see ANYONE in concert this badly before. No one cool ever comes to New Jersey and if ever they do, I don't get to see them. I really hope this dream can come true for me. Ahhhh! I am beyond excited. :)

xox.

Reminiscing

Today I saw one of my eighth grade Language Arts teachers again. It was a nice trip down memory lane, but now I must admit, I'm a little bummed. It just got me thinking to how much has changed. Middle school was so long ago and quite frankly, I miss it. Life was so much better, and simpler then. Maybe it's just me.

This is my opinion of Taylor Swift bottled up in a simple parody

I've decided

I'm okay with myself. I may not be breathtakingly pretty or funny or anything of the sort, but I'm okay with that. People will like me if they want to like me and won't if they just don't. It's one of the most simplest things in life and I feel we make it so complicated.

I've decided I'm the only person in charge of my confidence, not what the magazines say or how others may perceive me. At the end of the day, it's my own thoughts that whirl around through my mind, not the thoughts of a stranger or some jerk. If I let someone else's thoughts control my own, that's where I've truly gone wrong.

I hate...

I hate people who are so obsessed with socializing, looking good, and having a good time to focus and get work done and then complain that their grades suck. They have no right to stress out about test grades. They don't even try.

I hate when a guy thinks a girl is stuck up or superficial just because she does not have a romantic interest in him or find him attractive.

I hate girls who revolve their lives around boys. Grow up and grow a brain.

I just needed to rant.

I love you!

Face Recognition

Oddly enough, I never get compared to those gorgeous ladies. I've gotten Eliza Dushku, Kristen Stewart, Ashley Tisdale, and Lights.

But Calista Flockhart, REALLY?

By the way, this is the first time MyHeritage hasn't compared me to a bunch of Asians and Beyonce. First time.

Earthquake in Chile

Mother Nature is messed up. I guess it's her revenge for all the crap we've done to her in the past century. Still, it's a pretty sick and twisted way to get payback. And, she's not even getting revenge on the countries that are to blame the most; she's aiming at the more defenseless nations (with the exception of the devastating Hurricane Katrina in years prior).

My thoughts are with the victims and families affected with this terrible disaster.

Forgive & forget?

Some people forgive and forget much too easily. And every single time they get hurt by the same person, they take it out on everyone else and are too chicken to confront the person who hurt them. How sad is that? I think it's borderline pathetic.

I wish it would snow.

Every Monday brings a new set of problems

And being a senior SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I’ve said this before, but I’ll say i again because I mean it with every fiber of my being, who ever said being a senior is fun and easy and carefree is a L I A R because

1. AP English will be the death of me (but I suppose that’s my own fault for wanting to challenge myself and not be a pussy)
2. College and scholarship and financial aid applications are making me want to rip my hair out
3. Everything is too confusing

I can’t wait to graduate. I’ll miss my friends and stuff, but I have to get the hell out of here. I know college and real life will come with their own complications, but the annoying-ness that comes along with high school and its bogus, immature students and ideals is ridiculous.

I swear, I’m a 30 year old trapped in a teenager’s body. This high school thing got old on the first day of school.

With every sunset, comes a brand new sunrise.

I've Gotta Be Somebody

For once, I want someone to look at me like I'm amazing. This person doesn't even have to be a guy. It really could be anyone. It could be a friend, a family member, a classmate, even a complete stranger for that matter, just so long as it's not for a random reason.

I want to change someone's life for the good; I want to be the sun for someone on the verge of losing all sight of hope, as corny as that sounds. I want to be that for someone.

Good deed by good deed, no matter how small, I know I can achieve this goal. I just want to make the world a better place. Is that too much to ask? Even so, I'm doing it. No one can stop me.

I've got aspirations bigger than my body.

The Voice You Run From

Each of us know of at least one person who just can't take a hint.

You know that kid that never shuts up even when you desperately need a moment of silence? They ramble on and on about the stupidest and most irrelevant things, and nothing they say is new due to the fact that they're more repetitive than Degrassi re-runs. They talk so much that their voice is permanently embedded into your brain, so even when they're not there, you can still hear them telling you how much they love watching old Degrassi re-runs and how much they hate American education. It gets so bad that you dread the thought of your next encounter and embrace each moment the two of you part. It's as if with each goodbye, your heart reaches new heights and solar systems that science has yet to, and likely never will, discover. It's as if each goodbye is an ironic blessing, a beautifully disguised gift.

Isn't it so much worse when in that same moment, you're filled with shame and guilt for being so fed up with someone who is supposed to be your friend? The fact that this person is probably a lonely soul and reaching out for a pair of ears that will listen. You place yourself in their shoes and your heart sinks below the sea level. You deem yourself a terrible person and force yourself to put up with it, just to somehow make up for your selfishness and lack of sensitivity. 

It's a lose-lose situation.

All I want to do is sleep in

Mother nature, I would like to ask you for a favor.... More snow, please? Pleeeeaaaase???

I am currently in love with Kyle Riabko.

A Note to Someone Who Will Never Read This

I fully understand and grasp the concept that sometimes things are beyond our control. But I'm sorry, things don't "just come up" EVERY SINGLE TIME WE HAVE PLANS. Do you honestly expect me to believe that?

So I'm done, Miss "I'm Sorry, But..." I'm done making plans with you. I will take days to return your calls and your texts and your emails just like you do to me. You can forget about having a relationship outside of school.

I'm through with your silly little friendship games, I'm through with your flakiness, and I am done with feeling unappreciated, especially when I know I am nothing but a good friend to you. I won't keep trying and trying to be a friend to someone who cannot show the same courtesy in return. A relationship goes two ways.

Sincerely,

Your CLASSMATE

I love these snow days

That is all.

GOT MY BRACES OUT

I still have to wear a positioner at night, which is like a guard and it makes me feel like a boxer or a hockey player, which is cool cuz I feel kind of bad a**.

BUT YAY. NO LONGER AM I A BRACE FACE :)

Horror Movies

This is a list I've compiled of horror flicks that look promising, or that I have been meaning to watch. Whichever ones I can get a hold of, I'll be watching it with my friend on our Valentine's Day horror marathon! Some of the ones on this list have not even been released yet. They're also just movies I want to see on my own time. :P

-Deadgirl (if I can get a hold of it)
-Heartstopper
-From Within
-Frozen
-Wrong Turn
-Trick 'r Treat
-Heartless
-Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead
-Alice, Sweet Alice
-Let The Right One In
-The Gravedancers
-Elsewhere

Let me know if you have any great horror recommendations. Thanks <3

Truth #1

I have strong feelings of inadequacy.

Does this make me a bad person?

I don't believe in the sincerity of "old friends" when they find you on Facebook and decide to "catch up." Particularly guys. No, correction: particularly guys from here. We don't have to be talking face to face for me to pick up on the vibe that he's just fishing for a relationship.

Most boys around here are too easy to read. Next.


I don't mean to judge people before getting to know them (again) but if you're making it way to obvious and I've expressed my lack of interest in you more than once and you still persist to act like you're getting somewhere, then I'm not going to give a friendship a go.

How is that supposed to make me feel about myself? People like that are not worthy of my time or energy. I don't need fake friends who only speak to me because they think they actually have a shot. Please, my standards are higher than that my friend.

I'm Through

I have this feeling I am going to revert to my previous reserved manner. Trying to be social and "have a life" isn't working out for me. Who was I trying to fool anyway?

So for now, school and my family will be numero uno priorities, myself coming in second, then film, and then other stuff. The only friends that ever mattered to me moved away, the only friends who I'd consider doing anything for. The people I know today are just classmates and nothing more and I shouldn't expect too much out of them.

I don't really need any excess baggage or drama and frankly, that's just what teenage girls love to carry along with them- no matter how much they say they don't need it. So I'm done. I give up.

Tomorrow's Monday. Ew.

She Falls Asleep - McFly

beautiful song <3

"But what were the chances I'd ever find someone to really love me now? And maybe loving her back would be the hardest part of all."

I began reading the novel Beastly by Alex Flinn today. So far, it's been very absorbing, but I'm taking a quick break from reading to update my blog. 

Reading sort of made me realize something rather interesting... Now I'm not the most superficial girl in the world, but to a certain extent, I'm not even going to lie, looks do play a significant role. I just wonder if I'd ever look past someone's looks. I'd like to believe looks don't matter at all to me, but I don't want to go lying to myself. I think that looks do play an important role, even though they totally aren't everything.

But like I said, I'm not entirely superficial and I'm a strong believe that Beauty is in the eyes of the Beholder. It was really just a chord that was struck within me upon reading the book. 

Anyway, carry on. If you're a romantic or a fan of fairytales, check out Beastly. It's a pretty great story. And I think they're making a movie out of it too, starring Alex Pettyfer. If you don't know who he is, Google him and thank me later.

-Tiffany

Returning!

I haven't logged on here in the longest time! For awhile, I was over at Tumblr, but it's full of spam and nonsense and honestly, I just wanna blog about how I feel and I don't feel like Tumblr is the right environment for that. So, I've decided to revive this blog back from the dead. Like it or not, here I am and I am here to stay (although I doubt anyone reads this blog). I'll probably still use Tumblr, but not for my more personal thoughts... Probably just to goof off, because frankly, that's all I feel Tumblr is good for.